I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
