just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
