Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
