Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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