Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Hippo gnu deer
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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