you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
