therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just forgot I was standing up.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
