I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
