really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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