what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Girls should come with a carfax report
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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