That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
babies were throwing up all over the place
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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