shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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