he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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