At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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