Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
