??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
