I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
