she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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