i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
