Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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