Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
