if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
