I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
