honey bunches of taint.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
