we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
