glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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