two words: eviction party
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
