I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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