Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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