You made eat vitamins until I threw up
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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