dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
