Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize