There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
