i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
