bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
