my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
