there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
