I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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