i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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