woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I deserve this hangover.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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