therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
