His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
