K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
