Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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