I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
