what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
