why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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