thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
