Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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