I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
