ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
