We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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