Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
