Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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