It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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