please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You had me at "let me see your balls"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
