Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
