i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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