I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
