Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
