My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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