Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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