And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Every concussion has its silver lining
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
