could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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