that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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