it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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