kristin has been a bad kristin
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
