I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
