Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
