Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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