3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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